How to write your memoirs of childhood: 4 traps to avoid

Thinking of writing your memoirs of childhood?

You’ve chosen a good time.

With interest in genealogy and social history increasing, many people are posting old family photos on social media. News history and public records are available online, so it’s never been easier to research events of the past.

It’s a great way to pass your wisdom and experience to future generations you’ll never meet. Your story could be an inspiration to others across the world.

But be careful.

Here are four traps you can fall into in writing your memoirs of childhood:

Trap #1 – Forgetting your audience

If you’re writing a book of memoirs to entertain the general public rather than creating a detailed record of family history, you don’t need to include every boring detail, just because you have the information available. Sometimes you should just tell your readers what they need to know.

Compare “On Wednesday 25th April 1995, we moved into our new house at 37 Crambourne Road, Chichester. I was ten years old at the time, my sister was nine and my brother was four.” with, “When I was ten, we moved to Chichester.” Did the second version leave out anything your audience would miss?

In the same way, don’t assume your readers will find everything you did amusing or exciting, just because you do. If they don’t know you, they don’t have any interest in your life until you get them interested. (Try Googling ‘the funny things kids say’ and see how many anecdotes and witty sayings are still hilarious when you’re not the doting parent of the child. Click that link. Did you ‘laugh so hard you’ll cry’ at any of them? I rest my case.)

That doesn’t mean you can’t include those stories. But be aware that, while they have the basis of an entertaining incident, you’ll have to make them funny, frightening or whatever by the skill with which you write them. Some writers can have you rolling in hysterics over a story of how they bought a train ticket or cringing with fear at their description of a family meal.

Trap #2 – Including a cast of thousands

Ever been to a meeting or party where you were introduced to a large group of people, and a few minutes later, you couldn’t remember a single name? It takes time for your readers to get to know the characters in your memoirs, so, apart from your immediate family, try to keep other people to a minimum.

You don’t need to name every person and describe them exhaustively, even if every detail is etched on your brain. In some cases, you might choose to combine two minor characters into one for the sake of simplicity, or ascribe a comment to a previously-established character instead of introducing another person.

You may remember your neighbour’s husband and children vividly, but if the neighbour was the only one who influenced your life, there’s no need to tell us about her entire family (unless they’ll each buy a copy of your book, of course!)

Just because one of your teachers made a life-changing remark, that doesn’t mean we need their name, two paragraphs about their appearance, the subject they taught, whether you enjoyed their lessons, etc. If that comment was the only way they affected your life story and you won’t be mentioning them again, it’s enough to write ”One of my teachers…’

On the other hand, if your doctor’s appearance and personality were peculiar and he’s worth describing because you have a couple of hilarious anecdotes about him, go for it.

Trap #3 – Thinking you’ve got nothing to say

Never feel you’ve lived a dull life and no one would like to read about it. So what if you aren’t a famous person and didn’t have a spectacularly unusual life? That may mean your memoirs are less likely to interest a publisher, it’s true. But these days you can self-publish and produce ebooks and small quantities of paperbacks, so you can still turn your memoirs into a published book.

You may have other reasons for writing, apart from trying to entertain your readers – to save your memories for your family after you’ve gone, to set the record straight at last, or to leave a record of social history for future generations.

Writing memoirs is often less about telling your life story and much more about drawing a picture of the way you lived. In this case, the quality of your writing is more important than recounting a series of extraordinary events.

We all have fascinating experiences in our past – the times when we felt our strongest emotions, the turning points in our journey, or the special moments which encapsulate our childhood world.

Trap #4: Writing your autobiography instead

There are several advantages of writing a memoir of childhood, rather than your entire autobiography.

For one thing, it’s a shorter period of time. You’ll have the opportunity to describe your feelings and experiences in greater detail, which can be more satisfying to the reader than a whistle-stop tour of your whole life.

You can write your book earlier, instead of waiting until you’re 97 ‘because my life’s not over yet’. Creating your memoir while the memories are fresher in your mind, and while older relatives are still available to contribute their memories, has obvious advantages.

You can focus on your childhood as a time of development and discovery and reflect on it from your perspective as an adult. You can show how your childhood affected the choices you made later and moulded the adult you became. In those days, you didn’t know how the story would end. Now, you do.

 

Are you writing a memoir of childhood? Leave a comment below – let’s support each other.