How to be a helpful ancestor
Having researched my family history for several years, I have a few handy hints I’d like to suggest for my ancestors:
Be born in Victorian times. Yes, all of you. OK, then, if you can’t manage that, at least ensure that your parents have their children baptised individually, within a month or two of their actual birth, rather than saving up and having them done in a batch.
Have an unusual name. And if your surname is Smith or Taylor, do NOT name your children William, Ann, John and Mary, especially if your brothers and sisters are called William, Ann, John and Mary. If you’d had the sense to name your daughter Ophelia Wensleydale Smith, I might actually find her!
Only marry once, and get married before you have any children. If you’re left widowed with several children to support, you can marry again if you really insist, but please don’t marry another person with the same first name, and definitely don’t marry your wife’s sister. That just mucks up the family tree. And if you could keep the number of kids down to, say, five, that would be appreciated.
Have your photo taken. And if you live in Bristol, don’t go off and have it done on holiday in Ilfracombe or somewhere – use a studio in the town you actually lived in.
To avoid all doubt, write the full names of everyone in the picture, L-R, on the back, followed by the date and place.
Ideally, wear a uniform, or include something in the photo other than a vase of flowers. Thank you SO much.
Do something interesting with your life. Is it really necessary for all my ancestors to be clerks and shop-owners? Why not break with tradition and marry a silversmith, zookeeper, or even a chocolatier – now that I’m willing to research very thoroughly!
Failing that, if you could achieve wealth, fame and honour in your chosen field, or commit a newsworthy crime, such as an elaborate murder, that would be great.
Travel to exotic places, but come home before you die. If you must move abroad permanently, go to the USA or Australia. Dropping dead in the middle of Malawi is positively selfish.
Write plenty of letters, and ensure your descendants keep them for posterity. You did? Good job, guys. With luck, the first book in The Jollyman Letters series will be out soon.
